People are happier with a dog than a marriage...

It wasn't that great. One star.

Mustard Point.

But after the boss saw everyone's reaction when someone hit it by mistake, the sign was changed to say "panic button"

He wanted something to get his teeth into.

were named Brody, Kenny, Conrad and Dominic. On a night out with with thier dad, they asked how they got thier names. The dad replied "The answer is simple. Take the first three letters of you names and put them together".

They set a test having checked the questions can't possibly have dirty answers. The class does the test and they look at Johnny's answers, and can't see any problems. So they read out the questions and get one of the good students to read out her answers. Question A: A person who sells tickets for a show Question B: A word for a rich or upper class person. Question C: The way a general might begin a speech The good student responds: A: Box Office Attendant B: Billionaire C: Troops! So she asks Little Johnny to do the same. He says A: Tout B: Toff C: Men!

I picked up a girl at the bar the other day. She took me back to her house where things got hot and heavy very quickly. I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it when suddenly we heard the front door open. "Oh shit, it's my boyfriend ! " she exclaimed "Quick, use the backdoor" . Now it's at about this time I probably should have left but you just don't get an offer like that every day.

Ghee-hee!

I was a bit distracted when she tossed out ideas for a specialty food business she was starting. Otherwise I could have suggested fruit, or bread, or candy, or pretty much anything other than nuts.

She said, "Okay, do something spontaneous right now." So I panicked and proposed to a waiter. Long story short: I'm not seeing that girl anymore, but me and Greg are registered at Target.